Feminism… What You Don’t Know.

I was in my room one sunny afternoon when my room mate,Moyo threw a sharp question to us;

 “Are you a feminist?”

Esther, the girl who sat beside me on the bunk bed answered strongly

“I’m not a feminist!”

she went further to explain “I just don’t understand why some girls will claim to be feminists. When God created man, he formed woman out of the rib of a man; Just rib o and some ladies want to claim to be equal with men” . Moyo listened rather speechlessly but she managed to ask again;

 “what do you think feminism is?”

“Is it not the equality of men and women?” She sounded so ready for a heated argument

This feminism of a thing has gotten into the head of most ladies, they believe they can do whatever they like or live a certain rude lifestyle. It’s not as if I’m against feminists but the truth is that a lot of people has misinterpreted what feminism is all about. A religious man will never be in support of feminism,he might possibly say ..the bible said this or the bible said that… especially if he does not understand what it really means.

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT FEMINISM?

Feminism is not all about a woman being equal to a man; it’s about a woman being able to stand up for herself. We are born in a society where a woman is trained to bear whatever a man do to her no matter how ill it is. I remember one evening while cooking in the kitchen with my mother, we were discussing about marriage issues and then, I told her with  a childish mind that if my husband beats me I would leave the house. She laughed rather rhetorically and replied

“don’t pray your husband beats you, but even if he does, you have to stay and endure it.”

‘ok what if he kills me?’

“Then die; an igbo woman is supposed to endure and enjoy her husband’s house, how many times has my mother come here to settle disagreements between your father and I?” She asked rhetorically then continued

“that is why you should always pray to God to give you a good husband”.

A lot of damages has been installed in the life of women while growing up. They were told to depend on the resources of men, The man is the only one who needs to get the money; the ladies are to wait upon their husbands order. It is not bad at all, don’t get me wrong,what I’m trying to say is..what about some cases where the man cares little about his family? I remember few years back in the east, we had this particular neighbour that often fights; what was the reason? The man leaves home every day without dropping a penny  for food but when he returns he expects to be served delicious meal but when his expectation is thwarted he ends up beating his wife. This is one of the reasons I support that women should have something handy to do in order to support the family; every relationship needs understanding.

I was disappointed to hear a friend say ‘once you are married, you loose your right as a woman’ WHAT?

Women need to be respected. Yes I repeat it again ‘they need to be respected!’ how can a little boy be told that no matter the age of a girl, men are always older than women. I was shocked when my cousin whom I’m older than with 3 years refused to do what I told him to because his parents trained to believe that he is older than any lady thus no lady has the right to send him on an errand except if she is the wife of the man he is staying with.
The moment a boy becomes taller than his elder sister he automatically becomes the man of the house whom everybody must respect.

In some traditions, when a woman gives birth to girls without a male child, she haven’t started giving birth. The man might go far at any length to even get a second wife without the slightest thought about the emotional depression this woman might be going through. Female children are like a source of wealth especially in some culture. My elder brother once told me

 “nne don’t live a useless life remember that you are the first daughter and your bride price is much”. why must it always be like that?

Whenever a lady wants to get involved in her family matters, she get shunned  because ‘These matters are for men only” they say.


In some places, female education is a taboo because women are meant to get married, bear children,take care of the family and die. Women are the most vulnerable people in the society; at a very early stage of their lives, most of them have been  passing through one difficult situation to another most especially sexual harassment and gender inequality.



Go to the churches and count the women then count the men.

‘Why is it that women are more in churches than the men”  I asked my intelligent paternal cousin

‘it is because women have more demon in them than the men, that is why at every slightest prayer or touch they fall to the ground, they are the source of evil…” he went further to tell me the story about  the garden of Eden where it was the woman(Eve) who first ate the forbidden apple. Is that all there is to it?

Women are treated disdainfully by people who are born of a woman.



If a married man pass through some challenges people will say the wife is the cause.

If he dies untimely, the woman is the witch that killed her husband.

If she is delayed in child birth, people will say she was a prostitute at her younger age therefore she destroyed her womb with abortions.

It is often one thing or the other that women takes the blame for. A woman who cannot prepare delicious meals with #50 is not a wife material WHY? Why are women subjected to so much ridicule



I’m not disputing the fact that some ladies abuse and misinterpret the notion of feminism. Most of them thinks it’s when they talk back at their husband, refuse him of his marital responsibility or being less submissive to their husbands; let’s not forget that the bible specifically instructed that women should be submissive to their husbands.

Most ladies believe that  being  a feminist is only  when they are rich.

NO!



BEING A FEMINIST  IS BEING ABLE TO: BE STAND STRONG AS A WOMAN,

BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM,

DEFEND THE RIGHT COURSE,

SPEAK UP TO PROTECT YOUR RIGHTS

BEING INDEPENDENT,

BEING A COMPLETE WOMAN,

FIGHT FOR JUSTICE,

SAY ‘NO’ WHEN THERE IS  A NEED TO SAY NO.

BEING ABLE TO MAKE DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF,

KNOW YOUR WORTH AND YOUR CAPABILITIES.


Then they can proudly say that they are feminists.


#I’M  PROUDLY A WOMAN.
#Light up the fireworks.

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